When I sit down to play World of Tanks I want to win, I try my very best. People play games to get a release of endorphins the reward buzz. People who don’t even know about endorphins still play to get a buzz, a sense of achievement. Collecting poke Môn, unlocking achievements, getting the next unlock for your tank, winning a fight or battle etc. Yep these are all rewarded by a little kick of chemicals. Other people get there ‘kick’ by actively sabotaging others game play. These types of people would give shrinks a field day on writing papers for science journals because they slide into the darker side of humanity. We all have this darker side, or as ‘Dexter’ express it his ‘Dark passenger.’ There is a good reason why I don’t game with a headset on console because when the team are acting like a bunch of lemmings and blindly following some unknown alpha tank who probably has no clue what he is doing and sometimes I think it might be his first time playing WoT the way the team behaves. I would tell them in no uncertain terms what I thought about them their lineage and very many other derogatory sentences. You know the guy who dies then calls the team all ‘noob faggots’ nope that’s not me… No I’d abuse you while I was still alive telling you what elementally stupid mistakes you where making. For example when all the Heavy tanks have an aversion to street fighting in Ruinberg preferring the open wasteland where they can all play snipers. That team would have heard some choice insults. Or the game where I’d been playing like a blue blooded hero, slaughtering the enemy but eventually attrition won and I died leaving my team with 3 tanks, 1 heavy and 2 fast mediums. Against 2 heavily damaged TD’s who where separated and could not really support each other. The Heavy been my wing man and had succumbed to withering fire holding the line with me against the enemy’s main thrust. The heavy was hull down and hiding but keeping one TD pinned to cover him. Leaving the two fast medium tanks with a downhill run towards a non turreted tank destroyer that was in the open just lurking in a bush when he was spotted. With 8 minutes on the clock what do you think happened, nothing they waited the timer out costing me a medal. I was really angry, very, very pissed off. They came close to me sending a message about there countries conduct during WW2 and how they seem to be continuing there lack of backbone into the 21st century. A pretty horrible comment and in no way how I feel about there respective countries at all. It’s not even the facts of what really happened during WW2 but just childhood understandings of events surfacing when I’m so very angry. In fact I LOVE France, holidaying there as a child then as an adult working in Vallon-Pont-d’Arc, Sarlat-la-Canéda and finally Embrun in the French Alps. I’ve never visited the Netherlands but there is a certain Dutch lady who I will never forget if you get my drift. In my travelling I’ve never met a person from the Netherlands who hasn’t been friendly happy and helpful. Honestly even just having these thoughts is pretty bad and it does twist me up inside that I’ve actually thought about sending people these shitty messages. Maybe those shrinks would like to prise open my brain and see how it ticks. But while I’m playing the game I actively avoid trying to hinder others game playing abilities. For example blocking there line of fire, unless I’m doing the circle of death and that turret is chasing me. I won’t pull out in front of a tank wait for a reload, fire then back off. Its always aim, fire, withdraw and then reload. Just in case the other tank has a higher rate of fire or an auto-loader. If a tank is stationery it’s for a reason and I won’t nudge him on the way past or bounce off him and stop in front of his turret so he can’t get the killing blow.
This weekend I had one inspired Russian really managing to piss me right off! So Steppes, I like the map one of my favourites, now I’m in my Centurion 7/1 which is a support tank and my crew is setup for it with camouflage and situational awareness and I’ve nearly finished recon. I’ve pulled up into a bush that is next to rock, I’ve got a great field of view and my retreat is pulling down a hill and behind rocks at the same time maximising my armour with a good angle on it. This ‘little’ tanks pulls up next to my large Centurion. Oops it’s a heavy it just looks small. He is mainly covered by 2 rocks with a slight V that he must be pointing his turret through. Now I can’t see anything and the heavy starts firing I can’t see anything I assume he’s taking pot shots at known tank lurking bushes. Then bam a huge chunk of my heath vanishes, I hastily retreat accidentally knocking the heavy out of the way as he must have retreated when the shells landed. Hmm odd my sixth sense didn’t go off. I say ‘sorry’ in chat for knocking the heavy tank. No more shots are fired I slowly edge back up the slope leaving less tank exposed but limiting my field of view. But there is a light about to scout up the central track so I need to be ready. So my camera is angled watching as the light edges along the central road. So I can see the heavy tank sat to the left of me he again fires a few shots and reverses at 45 degrees to behind me and stops so they are firing through the bush at the silhouette of this heavy tank but getting hits on me. You cheeky Russian B&$tard. So I apologised to him for getting me shot. So he is actively trying to damage me reducing our chances of winning, for his own amusement. I just thought even if I wrote something he wouldn’t understand so I just left it.
Honestly I am not a shitty person, I’ve only thought about sending these messages, well I hope I am not a shitty person! I won’t use a headset by choice, especially not for console games. I have used them on occasion playing battlefield 3 and I’ve really enjoyed it. But I don’t want to be that guy shouting profanities at people down the mike. In my head I’m a good person I give up train/bus seats to the old, I will hold open doors for people (feminists can bite me.) I have worked for charities, in the past given up work time to make sure the less fortunate got there go in activities. I’ve given up hundreds of hours of my free time to help people pass qualifications. Hopefully these deeds will make me a ‘good’ person in the eyes of my peers. My Ex’s father used to play CoD on my Xbox and id often log onto find a handful of spiteful messages. While playing WoT on the Xbox I’ve had 3. One when I got logged onto a North American server the lag killed me and I got one rude message. Another when I played my Bishop, yep I play arty helps me learn where to hide and I do want to eventually unlock all the British tanks. The thing with the Bishop is that is fast firing but low alpha damage. So the poor guy did get focused by me, death by a thousand cuts. The third was from a Tiger player because I was a camping noob, because I was using my Centurion I from behind a ridge and I was a retard. Yeah I was a whole centurion tank length behind him on the same ridgeline. So yes camping like a noob in my medium support tank while his ‘glorious valour’ was sat proudly at the top of the ridge with no cover.
So what brought this all up, well I watch ‘The Mighty Jingles’ and on the 17th Oct 2015 he released episode 38 of ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.’ The first clip is on Westfield and it’s about the Bridge. On the Xbox it’s a normal standard bridge on the PC it’s an all busted up bridge with a few gaps. As Jingles says it’s an idiot magnet so you can guess why it’s not a busted bridge on the Xbox. Also the same reason that Xbox doesn’t have friendly fire. So in the replay four of the team act like lemmings and drive off the bridge and there was a comment that it was there game they can do what they like and it’s better than all the macho bullshit about winning. My reply to that just in my head was ‘No!’ It’s definitely a selfish act of negative game play Well I’ve spent some time in the hills and mulled over this idea in my head. Thinking about game play and positive and negative behaviour I realised that in my head I do have negative game play risks which are only removed by not using a headset. But balancing the negative risk I put that against that I often decide that winning is more important than surviving and will hold the line/flank even without support etc giving me my abysmal survival statistic. So those 4 suicide tanks show negative game play behaviour and a very selfish impulse. Having spent a few seconds hurtling towards the gap failing then going off to the next game to enjoy themselves leaving the rest of there team at an 11 to 15 disadvantage. As usual it is because the internet is mainly anonymous they can do something obviously selfish and self centred with no chance of any long term negative impact.
The other thing I got from the walk is that the falling leaves are extremely beautiful and I miss living in the country and hate living in a city, so much so that I’m off back to the countryside on Thursday for more ‘beauty’ therapy.
Sorry I lied about the cookies, But I do run a cooking and budgeting workshop for the ex-homeless where I have an american theme this week. Roasted butternut squash with a hint of chilli soup followed by peanut butter cookies and chocolate chip cookies. Last week it was a Chinese theme Hot and Sour soup followed by Sweet and Sour Chicken with rice. See more good deeds, I’m not a bad person, I’m not, I’m not….
See you on the other side….